Trouble in Paradise (Ernst Lubitsch, 1932)

 





GASTON
That's hotel life. In one room a 
 man loses his wallet 
  (very tenderly) 
 and in another room a man loses--
 his head.  
  (He tries to kiss Lily.)
 
      LILY
  (holding him off gently)
   Please.
  (Very sincerely.) 
 When I came here it was for a 
 little adventure--a little game 
 which you play tonight and forget 
 tomorrow. But something has changed 
 me--and it isn't the champagne. 
  (Gaston, also with sincerity, 
  takes her hand.) 
 The whole thing is new to me. Very 
 new. I've got a confession to make 
 to you. 
  (After a slight pause.) 
 Baron, you are a crook. 
  (Gaston's expression 
  doesn't change.) 
 You robbed the gentleman in two 
 fifty-three, five, seven, and nine. 
  (Still Gaston's expression 
  doesn't change. After a 
  slight pause, Lily turns 
  back to the table.) 
 May I have the salt?
 
   GASTON 
  (passes the salt with 
  an elegant gesture)
 Please.
 
      LILY
 Thank you.
 
   GASTON
 The pepper, too?
 
      LILY
 No, thank you.
 
   GASTON
  You're very welcome. 
  (There is a short silence as 
  both continue with the meal. 
  Then, with great candor.) 
 Countess, believe me, before you 
 left this room I would have told 
 you everything ... And let me say 
 this with love in my heart--
 Countess, you are a thief. 
  (Lily drops her 
  knife and fork.) 
 The wallet of the gentleman in two 
 fifty-three, five, seven, and nine 
 is in your possession. I knew it 
 very well when you took it out of 
 my pocket. 
  (With great charm.) 
 In fact, you tickled me. 
  (Moving closer to her.) 
 But your embrace was so sweet ... 
  (He caresses her hand 
  lingeringly. Then he gets up, 
  walks out toward the open 
  window.)
 
CLOSE SHOT  
at the window. Gaston enters, closes the window, and pulls 
the curtains. Looking back at Lily with smiling promise, he 
returns to the table.
 
CLOSE SHOT  TABLE 
Gaston goes to her, takes her hand, and draws her to her 
feet. She looks at him expectantly. Gaston takes her in his 
arms. It looks like the start of a passionate love scene. 
Suddenly, unexpectedly, he grabs her by the shoulders, 
shakes her violently.
 
INSERT 
Of their feet. Wallet falls from Lily's dress.
 
CLOSE SHOT  GASTON AND LILY 
Gaston reaches down, picks up wallet, puts it casually in 
his pocket, then gracefully holds chair, inviting her to 
sit.
 
   GASTON
 Countess.

Lily sits with all the poise of a lady. Gaston sits. They 
continue the meal as if nothing has happened.
 
   LILY
 I like you, Baron.
 
   GASTON 
  (fervently)
 I'm crazy about you. 
  (He reaches in his side 
  pocket, takes out a diamond 
  brooch which Lily wore when 
  she came in.) 
 By the way, your pin.

Lily is flabbergasted. She looks down to her bosom. Indeed, 
the pin is missing. She accepts the pin.
 
   LILY 
  (With a little 
  smile of shame)
 Thank you, Baron.
 
   GASTON
 Not at all, Countess ... There's 
 one very good stone in it.
 
   LILY 
  (as she fastens the pin)
 What time is it?
 
Gaston reaches for his watch, discovers it is missing. He 
gives Lily a look of admiration and astonishment. Lily 
smiles triumphantly, opens her purse, lifts out the watch, 
hands it to him. He takes it with a bow.
 
   LILY
 It was five minutes slow, but I 
 regulated it for you. 

They bow to each other like two Chinese mandarins.
 
   GASTON 
  (tenderly)
 I hope you don't mind if I keep 
 your garter.

Lily almost leaps out of her chair. She raises her skirt; 
her hand searches for the garter. It is missing. Gaston 
takes the garter out of his breast pocket, shows it to her, 
kisses it, puts it back, and buttons his coat. Lily is 
delighted. This is the highest compliment ever paid to her. 
She slides into his lap, embraces him.
 
   LILY
 Darling! 
  (They kiss; very excitedly.) 
 Now tell me--tell me all about 
 yourself. Who are you?
 
   GASTON
 You remember the man who walked into 
 the Bank of Constantinople and 
 walked out with the Bank of 
 Constantinople?
 
   LILY 
  (thrilled) 
 Monescu!
 
   GASTON
 Gaston Monescu.
 
   LILY 
  (melting away)
 Gaston!
 
They embrace and kiss again.
 

COUCH  
Lily is lying on the couch, Gaston at her side, leaning 
over adoringly.
 
   GASTON
  I love you. I loved you the moment 
 I saw you. I'm mad about you. My 
 little shoplifter! My sweet little 
 pickpocket! My darling! 

(Script: http://www.aellea.com/emruf3/tip.html)